Animals vs Aliens
by Kitten630
Summary: They came from the sky, hidden in lightning, and burrowed secretly underground, into the robot bodies they built billions of year ago, all the  time, craving our planet for they're own. This isn't a war, it's an extermination.  I need OCs
1. Storm

**Hallo there, fellow fanfiction lovers! Sorry for being so quiet on here, but I guess being lazy is a good enough excuse, right? ... Right?**

**Anywho, the summer is finally here, and it's time to write!**

**Like it said in the summery, I need plenty of OCs. I must tell you this, though, each author can only submit two characters at maximum, and not every character will make a big role. You may only catch a glimpse of your character, before he or she gets killed. But I promise, even if they don't speak, each character will get a role. Cross my heart and hope to die! ... Well, if you did scratch a cross onto your heart, you probably WOULD die... and how would I even get to my heart anyway without major surgery...**

**STORY TIEM NAO PLZ!**

**Oh, and before I forget, this is a spoof of War of The World, the film. If you haven't watched it... Well, you could either read this before watching it, or go ahead and watch it now. But it's a great film and I really do recommend it! And if you have seen it... Well, get ready to read it, HAPPY TREE FRIEND STYLE! ^^**

"And she's not allowed outside the house after seven o clock, okay?" Shifty could only just nod. This Health and Safety drill had been going on for almost an hour now. It's hard to believe that someone as happy go lucky, random and reckless as Caramel, could have such stuffy parents. He stared at the three raccoons in front of him, consisting of a minty green and white mother wearing a green dress, a yellow and white father wearing a red shirt and brown trousers and a small yet evil looking blue and white sister wearing a grey tracksuit. Beside Shifty, stood his younger brother, Lifty, who was trying in vain not to fall asleep, and they're younger friend, Caramel, a purple a white raccoon dressed in a red, black and white Hawaiian dress, a black choker collar with a pink stone on it, brown sandals and a purple and white flower tucked behind one of her gigantic ears.

When Caramels' family said they were going to visit Happy Tree England with her best friends' family, she begged the twins to let her and her friend, Toffee the Cat crash at their place. Living in a rundown flat/ apartment full of stolen stuff was defiantly WAY better than looking through a museum for the 10,000th time. Not to mention that she'd bailed the two out of jail at least fourteen times, the boys felt they owed it to her. Besides, both Toffee and Caramel could both cook, which would make a serious change from the usual greasy take outs.

"Okay, mum and dad, I'm sure they both get it. Okay better go or you'll miss the flight." Suddenly shoving her obviously startled parents and sister into the waiting taxi; which held a very bored looking taxi driver.

"Okay, see you next week! Bye mum, bye dad, bye Bud, oh demon sister of mine!" You could just see Bud giving her the finger as they turned a corner, out of sight.

"Sheesh, I hate Bud so much. Anywho, TAHNKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" The two boys suddenly found themselves on the floor, as their friend death hugged them both.

"Oh god, I really thought I'd have to go back there again! I don't mind the England part, but God Damn it I swear they've taken me to EVERY SINGLE BLOODY MEUSEUM THERE!" Shifty heaved himself off the purple pavement, while Lifty stayed with the hysterical girl. As the fedora wearing twin walked back into the block of flats, he could still hear Caramels' yelling.

"And the food! I mean, growing up in Happy Tree England, you'd expect them to LIKE fish and chips/fries, but NOOO, its all meat and two vegetables with them, GROSS! And liquorish allsorts, who the hell like LIQUORISH ALLSORTS? Hey, where'd Shifty go?" By then, Shifty couldn't hear this easy to answer question, and was already back in his apartment, tacking a well deserved nap on the sofa/ couch. After all, listening to parents was tiring work.

The mid morning sun shone down upon the laughing town... well, laughing and blood curdling scream filled place of Happy Tree Town, as Shifty stepped into the small slither of garden that the flats/ apartments offered. Caramel had quietly sat herself under a tree, her head buried in a book, while Lifty was tossing a ball in the air.

"Hey Shifty!" He called cheerfully at the sight of his still sleepy brother. "Wanna play catch?"

"Nah, that kids stuff."

"Dude, we ARE kids."  
"For the love of hell, Lifty, Seventeen does NOT make you a kid." Lifty grinned goofily at this.

"Well, it does in my world!"

"What's your world made of, then? Marijuana?"  
"You got that right, Shifty my bro! I bet you're just chicken! Scared our lil bro's gonna whoop your ass like I did in high school!" Caramel suddenly looked up from her book.

"You guys went to high school? Wait, I'm still getting used to the American talk, High school is the same as secondary school, right?"  
"Who friggin cares? And we said we would NEVER talk about that again! All right, lil bro, you wanna play, gimmi your best shot!" With his trademark laugh, Lifty hurled the ball at his brother, who easily caught it.

"That the best you got?" Asked Shifty in a mocking way, throwing the ball back to his twin.

"Nope, THIS is!" Lifty catapulted the ball back with such force that Shifty stuttered backwards.

"Yeah, that's half of what I got!" No longer interested in her book, Caramel simply leaned against the tree, enjoying the show.

"Wow Shifty, I always knew I was better at sports than you, but I never knew you were THIS crap at throwing a Goddamn BALL!" Throwing back his head laughing, Shifty took this opportunity to throw the ball right into his brothers head, which the bounced off with a painful crack, flew in the other direction and smashed right through The Moles window, who then stuck his head out and waved his fist, in the wrong direction. Caramel hid her laugh inside her books' pages. Lifty quickly recovered and walked back to the apartments/ flats, rubbing his head and bumping Shifty as he passed.

"Jerk." He muttered. Silence hung in the air for an uncomfortable thirty seconds.

"Well, I'm going to bed." Shifty said loudly, before also walking back inside.

"What, again? But you just took a nap!"  
"Big whoop, Caramel, I was at a party last night." The purple raccoon quickly scuttled back inside, her book clasped to her chest.

"Hey, what are we eating?" Shifty shrugged.

"Order something, I dunno, you figure it out, you're a girl after all." And that's how Shifty ended up with a black eye.

SpongeBob laughed on the TV, acting as Shiftys' alarm clock. Rubbing his eyes, he walked into the cluttered living room, where Caramel was comfortably sitting on the floor in front of the glowing box. From Shiftys' sleepy vision, he could see little white circles with random colours in them, and brown sauce here and there, scattered across the table. His eyes saw this, and came to the conclusion. Candy and BBQ sauce. He scooped some up and dropped it in his mouth, only to gag rudely and spit it into his hands.

"Ugh, GROSS, what is that?" Caramel turned away from the laughing Sponge.

"It's sushi, from the Japanese take out down the street. I kept one of their menus last time I was here." She only received a glare from Shifty in response.

"What? You said order!" Shifty laughed slightly.

"Uh, yeah, I meant for food. Not this uncooked bullshit!"  
"Hey, sushi's awesome! If you don't like it, order your own food. And unless you want both your eyes swollen shut, I suggest you keep your sexist jokes to yourself!"  
"Ugh, whatever man. Sorry, _girl._" Just as Caramel was standing up to land him another wounded eye, the electricity suddenly died, and the jolly voice of SpongeBob vanished.

"Huh, power cut. Uh Caramel, please don't tell me you're afraid of the dark, I really don't want you sobbing on my shoulder." It didn't take long for him to realize Caramel wasn't listening.

"Weird, power cuts usually only happen at night during a thunderstorm. And I don't hear any sort of storm right now." She walked to the window and yanked open the curtain, only to give a sharp shriek.

"What? Caramel, what's up? Oh hell, is did Lumpy forget to wear pants again?" Caramel shot him a look of disgust.

"When the hell has that EVER happened. Actually, don't tell me. Look, you look outside for yourself, I'll meet you in the garden!" The purple and white girl dashed out the grubby home of the twins, just as Shifty reached the window, only for his jaw to hit the ground. Right in the middle of the bright, happy sky, was a swirl of wind, black colours and clouds. It looked a bit like a cross between a gothic film and the birth of a hurricane that just couldn't find the power to become bigger. Suddenly remembering his friend was outside, he ran down the black mould covered stairs and exploded into the garden, where Caramel was gazing into the black hole in the sky, completely mesmerized.

"Hey Caramel, you alright?" Caramel's head didn't move, but her ears twitched at the sound.

"Alright? Dude, this is amazing! I mean I've seen nature do weird stuff, but only online. And even so, it's never been as intense as THIS! Aw man, I am SO glad a bunked out of going to Happy Tree England!" Out of the corner of his eye, Shifty saw Pop come out of his house, holding Cub closely to him. Both were staring at the sky in awe, although Cub didn't seem to be enjoying it. At that moment, the wind picked up, and Cub went flying out of Pops' arms, and rather luckily (considering this is Happy Tree Town) landed in Caramels' tail. She didn't seem to notice.

"Son! SON!" But the wind was now roaring so loud, t was like the strange act of nature was alive.

"Shifty, go get the camera, quickly! I'm pretty sure you must've stolen one at some poi- Why the heck is Cub in my tail?" Putting two and two together, she grabbed the infant ad looked around for Pop, and finally saw him waving by the fence.

"Here you Mr Pop. Heh, I guess having a giant fluffy tail finally came in handy, eh?" Pop however didn't seem particularly impressed that he'd waited for his son for so long, o simply nodded and went back to looking at the sky.

"Sheesh, what a sour puss- uh- sour BEAR. Now seriously, go get a camera or s-" Lightning lit up the sky, with a defining crack, making both raccoons jump, and set Cub off wailing.

"Uh, Caramel, why don't we go inside?"  
"Dude, it's just lightning, there's nothing scary about-" Another lightning bolt sliced the sky, this time even louder.

"... Uh, on second thoughts, we should get some coffee while watching this." By the time they reached the apartment/ flat, two more lightning bolts had made themselves present.

"Shifty, is this normal for Happy Tree Town?" Caramel asked quietly, peering out from behind the greasy curtain.

"Well, this isn't exactly a normal town, is it? Besides, there's no reason to worry, lightning never strikes in the same place once." Another lightning bolt hit the sky, and then another, and another, and another, and another, each on louder than the last, all pointed towards town square. Caramel shrieked and ducked behind the sofa, and Shifty took shelter under the rotting coffee table. After thirty seconds, however, the lightning came to a abrupt halt, and violet clouds soon took their rightful place in front of the black stain in the sky.

"...Dude, is it over?" Shifty emerged from under his coffee table bomb shelter, and Caramels' head pooped up from behind the patched up sofa.

"Well how the hell should I know? I grew up in Happy Tree England, and the only freaky thing that ever happened was when it rained so much the school flooded! Actually, that was pretty cool."  
"Caramel, whatever. Look, I'm gonna go check out town square, be back in a sec." Caramel stepped forward.

"Well, if you wanna take your van, Lifty already took it." Shifty stopped, and then turned around slowly.

"...What?"

"Yeah, when you were sleeping, he took your van keys, and went out. Wait, the van is lightning proof, right?"


	2. First breath

**Herro! I've decided that from now on, I will write a new chappie for one of my many half completed stories every three days! ^^ (Having no life whatsoever helps, YAY FOR BEING A TOTAL GEEK!) I'd like to thank Phoenix Reece, DJ Shifty, Ol' No Name and****Punkangel208394 for already submitting characters!**

**And also, I'd like to say this.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Hi.**

Shifty stormed out of the block of apartments/ flats, a mixture of emotions plastered on his face. Anger, confusion, and curiosity. But pretty soon, the only emotion left was curiosity. The entire street was filled with cars, but none of them were moving. There was also tons of Happy Tree Citizens, all in a swarm of questions and no answers. Some were talking to each other, some were shouting, he once again noticed Pop with a screaming Cub. But the one thing that any fool could notice was that everyone was walking in the same direction; towards where the lightning had struck. After merely fifty ft, he saw his van, with a confused looking Lifty peering inside the hood. He jumped so high he hit his head on the hood when he saw Shifty.

"Whoa, Shifty, dude. Look, I swear I didn't break anything, everyone's' car stopped when the freaky lightning show started, c'mon lets go check it out!" Shifty straightened his hat.

"Look, I'll be pissed with you for taking the van later, right now, go back home."

"What? But why? Dude, there might be something really cool going on down there!"  
"And it could be something bad as well. Look, just go back and make sure Caramel's okay."  
"Why wouldn't she be?  
"Just go!"  
"Sheesh, you sound like her parents." Shifty gave Lifty a shove, before continuing the walk. Sure enough, all electric items weren't working. Not a single car, no lights, he even saw Disco Bear thumping his I-pod in an attempt to get it working. Remembering he was wearing a (Stolen) watch he put it to his ear. Nothing. The crowd of curious citizens started to grow. Lammy, Giggles and Petunia were chatting amongst themselves, Flaky was clinging to Flippy nervously, Cuddles was skating along with Toothy on a bike peddling next to him. In the corner of his eye, he spotted a dark grey and white cat, wearing dark blue jeans.

"Hey, yo DJ!" A three second sprint brought him towards his friend, who looked at him in hello.

"Shifty, do you have any idea on what's happening?" The English voice of DJ asked, only to get a shrug from Shifty.

"I don't get this one bit. I mean, we hardly ever even get rain, let alone lightning. Perhaps its global warming or something?"  
"I dunno, Shifty. Why would global warming make all the electricity stop?"  
"DJ, it aint just electricity, its all machines. I mean, just look at my watch!" Shifty waved the stopped clock in front of the cat to prove it.

"Huh, freaky man."

Soon, the crowd of citizens was so dense DJ and Shifty were shoulder to shoulder (Which felt a little awkward) But the next corner turned made the crowd go flying, as many people ran to see where the lightning struck. Town square formed a circle around something Shifty couldn't see, while police officers struggled to keep the public away from any harm. For once, his tail proved useful, as Shifty used it as a battering ram all the way to the front of the people, followed hastily by DJ. The sight was incredible. A smoking, smouldering hole was imbedded in the now cracked beyond repair road. Lumpy, wearing his police gear, was very busy being Lumpy, and a black wolf with red streaks on his arms (on his back as well, but his police wear covered it) was trying/ failing to hold back Nutty. Seeing his chance, Shifty reached out for a piece of broken rock. He gingerly touched it several times, before gently picking it up.

"How can you do that, isn't it hot?" Asked DJ who had finally caught up. Shifty tossed it between his hands.

"No, it's freezing." Suddenly, a loud creaky, earthy noise stunned everyone into silence. After a minute of this bizarre sound, very small capsules flew out of the fresh cracks in the ground. The scared hid from the, the curious stood, amazed. And Shifty was the first to pick one up. It was very light, shiny silver and had a black belt round the middle. It suddenly clicked, they all did, and a mouldy green gas poured out.

"IT'S GAS!" Someone screamed, just encase anyone couldn't guess what the strange green substance that was now filling the air was. The oxygen level must've dropped, as everyone took in a gigantic gulp of air and held it. Silence. After a while, the screaming pain in Shiftys' lungs could stand no more, and he took a rasping breath; only to refill his lungs with plain, tasteless air. He felt no burning, the air tasted clean, and he quickly noticed the green was sinking quite quickly into the ground. The street filled with gasping breaths, and confused mutters. The police quickly remembered they had a job to do, and started to push back the public (only to have them push them back as well.

"Shifty, do you have any clue on what the hell just happened?" Before Shifty could answer DJs question, the cracks in the icy, yet smoking hole, began to grow. At first it was slow and gradual, but after only ten seconds, animals were throwing themselves out of the way as the cracks shot out in all directions. Some began to crawl up buildings, sending them crashing to the ground. The shrieks and screams were defening, but Shifty couldn't seem to hear. Even when DJ was screaming into his ear to move, Shifty's eyes were still locked in position. The cracks were... moving. The ground was moving apart. As if... something was...

"SOMETHING'S COMING OUTTA THE GROUND!" DJ screamed at him. Shaking his head clear of the shock, his feet began to run. And tripping over a stone brought him into hiding behind a car. The two boys peered out from behind the car. Something defiantly WAS emerging from under the cracks, was it exactly was unknown. The panic ridden streets suddenly went deathly quiet, as everyone turned and stared. A giant, metal body, bigger than a mansion, rose up, standing on several thick tentacles. A glowing, red metal eye gazed upon the sea of coloured animals, and they stared back. Some of them were taking pictures, some were taking video recordings. DJ stood up, and gazed, open mouthed, at the metal beast. The sci fi robot suddenly produced a bizarre appendage from its underbelly; sort of like an alien cannon. DJ started to walk forward, as if hypnotized.

"DJ, what the hell are ya doing, man? Get back here!" Shifty demanded. At that, the metallic monster let out a grinding, deep roaring like noise, followed by the sound of crunching gears. All rabbits in the crowd clutched their ears and howled. Some children and babies started crying. The, a yellow squirrel wearing a black dress and black shoes and long wavy blond hair with pink streaks floated out of the crowd and flew towards the machine. Even through all this, Shifty had time to mutter 'Great, another fucking super squirrel'. Either the super squirrel didn't hear Shifty or chose not to be bothered. She hovered in front of the robot, hands on hips.

"Listen, you overgrown computer." She said in a very thick French accent.

"I do not know WHAT you are, but if you vant to hurt zeezs petite Happy Tree Citizens, zen you vill have to go through me!" And uncomfortable silence thickened the air for half a minute, before the cannon suddenly pointed at the squirrel and fired a bright white lazar, sending the white ash of the girl floating to the winds, and her clothes falling to the ground.

"Zonny, no!" Petunia's voice screamed, and the creature turning its attention back to the crowd, and aimed its lazar.

"DJ, c'mon, MOVE!" Shifty screamed, all but a second too late. The lazar fired, and a chunk of Happy Tree dwellers turned into white ash, including the unsuspecting DJ the cat. Staring in horror, Shiftys legs began to move by themselves, as did everyone else. The beast began to move, its shiny tentacles slithering like medusas' snake hair. The lazar showed no mercy, firing in every direction. Shifty, ducked inside a shop, where many others were taking cover, but it only proved safe for about five seconds, as the ray powered through the roof of the building, send another chuck of HTFs to their burning graves. No matter how fast he moved, Shifty only narrowly avoided the ray, as the animal either behind him or in front exploded into white ash. He finally reached the outside word of the building, and gazed upon utter chaos. When the ray hit anything that wasn't flesh, it set it on fire. This heat ray was quickly sending all screams into silence. The streets had changed from crowded and fearful, to empty and silent, white ash snowing from the sky, clothes flowing in the winds. When he saw Toothy trying to drag Lammy into a semi collapsed building, blood dripping from her head, he snapped back into the nightmarish reality, he sprinted all the way home, to two raccoons who greatly awaited his return.


	3. Explanations

**Yes, I iz still writing, beyatch. And my little sister is watching me as I write this... Yayz.**

Shiftys shaky hand managed to finally twist the door knob of the apartment/ flat door, and he wobbled inside. Caramel stood in the doorway, with a blank expression.

"What happened?" She said in monotone. Lifty was sitting on the arm of their sofa/ couch, his eye brows arched slightly in a worried position. His knees knocking to a point of almost falling over, Shifty plonked himself down of the sofa, his eyes popped and unblinking. Caramel walked slowly over to him.

"Shifty, what's on you?" Shifty didn't answer. She reached out to his arm and tugged the fur, and Shifty jolted away as if she'd just pointed a flame thrower in his face, and a poof of white powder flew off him.

"What's all this stuff?" Caramel asked, staring at the white substance on her paw. Blinking, Shifty wobbled up and went into the bathroom, gazing into the cracked mirror. Sure enough, he was covered in white powder. It took him two seconds to realise it wasn't white powder. It was the white ash of dead HTFs. Usually getting someone else's blood on himself was a day to day thing, but getting the burnt remains of civilians... his friends...

Caramel and Lifty exchanged confused looks as the heard the shower blasting on, water and white powder/ ash floating out the door. Shifty the burst out the door, dripping with icy water. He stood there, breathing heavily for three seconds, before he started running around.

"We're leaving this house in sixty seconds. Lifty, you pack some stuff, no shit, just stuff like, first aid, blankets, survival crap. Caramel, pack some food, as much as you can carry. And water too. Make sure it's bottled, who knows what that gas did to the water? Don't just stand there, MOVE!" Caramel had half hid herself behind a seriously weirded out Lifty. Hearing Shiftys angry orders, they just as they were told, heads still buzzing with questions. Shifty was practically jumping from wall to wall, grabbing batteries, torches and a giant bag of stolen money. He then ran into his small bedroom, reached under the creaky bed and pulled out a gun. Shoving the lump of black metal into his back pocket, he slipped on a leather jacket and powered into the living room, where Lifty was holding a battered suitcase, brimming with Shiftys requests, and Caramel was trying to balance a cardboard box in one hand and shove belongings into a back pack.

"Get a jacket on Lifty, on with LOADS of pockets, you to Caramel. C'mon, we don't got time to muck about!" Shifty power walked out the door, followed by Lifty, lugging the suitcase and trying to put a denim jacket on, and Caramel who was trying to slip on a black hoodie with purple fire on it with one paw. By the time the two got outside, Shifty was pacing back and forth, chewing his nails.

"Took you long enough. Now c'mon, we gotta move. Lifty, you know where Handys repair shop is, right?" The confused younger twin nodded weakly.

"Good, take us there." Shifty pushed Lifty along, urging him faster and faster, with Caramel trotting behind to keep up. Usually she'd of moaned about all the exercise, but she was too busy letting her eyes consume what was going on around her. Fires were still going, white ash lay coated the ground, in some placed it was in piles. Everywhere, animals were running, trying to start cars, screaming and crying. The was also a blue weasel, with blond, un-combed hair, clutching an obviously dead Lammy and screaming his heart out. Such things weren't uncommon in Happy Tree Town, but something was hanging in the air. It was as if despair was flowing through the once cheerful streets. Even the plants had lost their happy colours, and dulled. That is, the plants that weren't on fire or trampled into the dirt. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the brothers had stopped, and crashed into Shifty. Lifty turned to help her up, Shifty didn't seem to notice.

"Handy, is this car broken, or will it move?" The panic and stress was dripping in his voice, like a wet sponge being rung out. Handy gave an oblivious smile.

"Yep! I just had to change the spark plugs! Better go fix the other cars now-"  
"Good, then we'll take this one!" Shoving the beaver out of the way, he jumped into the driver's seat and motioned for Caramel and Lifty to join him. Used to his brothers' bizarre ideas, Lifty just sat in the front seat, while Caramel held back.

"Caramel, what the fuck are you doing, get in the fucking car RIGHT now!" Anger had taking place in Shiftys' once panic stricken voice, his eyes like fire. Now severely frightened, Caramel dived in the back seat, shuffling as far away from the fedora wearing raccoon as possible. Handy banged his arm/ nub against the window.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing? You can't steal this!" Shifty rolled down the window.

"We're not, get in the back!" Handy looked confused.

"What the- listen you kleptomaniac, get out of my car!"  
"No, YOU get in!"  
"It's my car, and I say get OUT!"

"Handy, I aint kiddin, get inside!"  
"No, find your own car! You have a van, use that!"  
"HANDY, GET INSIDE THE CAR OR YOU'RE GONNA DIE!" Lifty stared in shock at is raging brother, while Caramels eye brimmed with frightened tears, hugging her backpack.

"Shifty, what do you mean?" She whispered, a little too quietly, ask Shifty didn't hear.

"... Okay, you lunatic, get out the car." Handy said, firmly. Shifty threw his arms in the air. Caramel then saw a weird light in the mirror. She looked out the back window, and clamped her mouth to stop herself shrieking. She didn't have to, Lifty did for her.

"HOLY SHIT, WHAT'S THAT?" Shifty looked behind, yelped, and sped off in what might be the only working car on the planet. Caramel stayed looking out the back window, as the bright white heat ray that was spewing out of the shining metal monster engulfed Handy. The screams finally left her mouth.

"Lifty, Lifty shut her up!" Lifty scrambled into the back seat and shook the screaming girl.

"Caramel, Caramel calm down! Screaming won't get you anywhere, just breath, okay, breath. Remember like that time you dragged me to your hula class? Be calm, like the teacher said, just calm down. You good? Okay." Just as fast as he'd scrambled into the back seat, he scrambled back into the front seat, feeling starved of answers that Shifty obviously knew.

"Alright Shifty, talk, what the hell is going on?" Shifty swerved onto a main road, where many HTFs were all walking.

"I dunno, but whatever it is, it's killer. I think it's taken out half the town already."

"What the hell is 'It'?"

"Is it the terrorists!" Caramel half cried, half screamed.

"It can't be terrorists, it's too high tech. I think whatever this is, it's from a different place."  
"What, like Europe?" Shifty shot his brother a WTF look.

"NO LIFTY, NOT LIKE EUROPE!" The moment a moving vehicle pulled onto the road, HTFs ran after it by the dozen, some flinging themselves in front of the car, desperate for a lift, only to become HTF smoothie.

"Sheesh, what idiots. Lifty, when I said somewhere else, I meant, like, aliens. Yeah it sounds stupid, but how often does a giant robot come outta the ground with a giant lazar?"  
"I think it happened once in an episode of Dr Who." Shifty blinked.

"Dr what?"  
"You don't know about it? Oh Shifty, it's so cool! Caramel and Toffee showed it to me! Okay, there's this British guy, who's a time lord, and he flies around in this telephone box he calls The Tardis-"

"Lifty, I don't give a fuck about British TV! For the love of, ugh. Yo Caramel, how you doing back there?" Caramel had managed to stop screaming at last, and had a creepy blank face.

"I want Toffee." She said, hollowly.

"You want To- Caramel, aliens are killing animals, and you want candy? Sheesh, you're worse than Nutty." Lifty yanked Shiftys ear.

"You idiot, she means her friend! You know, Toffee the cat?" Shifty tried/ failed to hide his embarrassed expression.

"Uh, Caramel, we kinda gotta get away from here, so uh, we can't get your friend, sorry." Caramels face stayed blank.

"I want Toffee." She repeated, her voice unchanged.

"Look, I said we ca-"  
"I want Toffee."  
"But Caramel, we-"

"I want TOOOOOFFFFFFFFEEEEE!" She screamed, suddenly hysterical.

"Uh Caramel, it's kinda hard for me to concentrate on driving when you that that, so can you-"

"TAKE ME TO TOFFEE!" Shrieking her head off, she slammed her fists against the window.

"LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT I WANT MY FRIEND!"  
"Shifty, just take her to Toffee!" Lifty yelled.

"Alright, alright, just shut her up."  
"I WANT TOFFEE!"  
"I KNOW, CARAMEL, THAT'S WERE WE'RE GOING!"

The roads were clear of HTFs by the time the stars had taken their place in the sky. Caramel was jumping up and down in her seat as they pulled into the driveway of her best friends house.

"C'mon, c'mon Shifty, park faster!" Before Shifty had stopped the car, Caramel had already leaped out and running through the, surprisingly, unlocked door. Shifty massaged his temples, sighing heavily.

"Dude, chill out. Look, you can't blame her for freaking out. She's just a kid, and you know how close those two are."

"Sigh, whatever, bro. Look, I gotta massive headache. Let's just camp out here and get back on the road in the morning." Shifty stumbled groggily out of the car and walked over to the house, where he could hear Caramel calling out for Toffee. Lifty walked inside and called out as well, while Shifty sank his face into a pillow.

"None of Toffees' family is here, the place is deserted." Lifty reported. Caramel appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Is she dead?"  
"No, Caramel, she aint. Look, there's a killer robot setting everything on fire, she's probably ran away somewhere safe. And Lifty, her family aint here cos they went to Happy Tree England with Caramels' parents, remember?" Shifty heaved himself up, and walked over to the kitchen.

"And she took all the food outta the fridge, the bitch."  
"Hey, Toffee isn't a bitch, Shifty!"  
"Caramel, I was joking. Alright, gimmi the box of food you packed, let's just eat and sleep, okay?" Caramel handed Shifty the box, still looking annoyed about what he called Toffee.

"Okay, what did you pack? Three bottles of water, ketchup, peanut butter, Tabasco, mustard, expired milk, Caramel I said pack food, you idiot!" Caramel sat on a chair.

"That's all that was in your fridge." Lifty sat down next to her, while Shifty was staring at the array of sauces.

"Uh, food. What can we do for- Oh wait, there's bread over there. Okay, there's two pieces for me, two for Lifty, two for Caramel, one for the house." He tossed the bread slice across the table, failing to be funny. He then grabbed a spoon and started ladling peanut butter onto the bread.

"Okay, sandwiches for all. Lifty, how much do you want?"  
"Shifty, I'm allergic to peanuts." Shifty looked at his brother, and then laughed slightly.

"Ha, yeah since when?" Lifty stared at Shifty.

"Birth." Shifty stared into nowhere for three seconds, then tossed some plain bread at Liftys face.

"Okay, just eat the bread then."  
"I'm not hungry."

"Alright, fine. Me and Caramel are having peanut butter sandwiches, you want jelly on yours, Caramel?"  
"Shifty, two things. One, I call it jam, not jelly, and two, I'm not hungry either."  
"Oh, you're not hungry? Fine." Shifty grabbed the four slices of plain bread and the two smothered in peanut butter and hurled them at the nearest window, the peanut butter making the two slices slowly slide down the window.

"Okay, you know what, we'll fine Toffee, and then we're getting you to your parents, Caramel. Everything's gonna be okay, it'll all be, totally, okay..."


	4. Bumpy night

**I iz writing this chappie while babysitting. Crikey, babysitting iz the GREATEST job ever invented. You get paid to watch TV and eat other peoples food, what's not to like? And mah buddeh Pheobie is reading over my shoulder as I write this. Sheesh, first it's my sister, then my friend, who's next, my grandmother?**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**I'M FEELING HYPER, EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

The death of the day had at last come, and nigh time was born. Stars glittered throughout the sky, now even more visible, as not a single mechanical light was shining. A beautiful, silver moon hung in the sky like a Christmas decoration. Too bad no one could see it, as all the living creatures hid in the shadows, fearing their next move may be their last. Not even owls and wolves cried to the heavens. Even the bugs were laying low after the day's events, although the biting ones hadn't quite got the whole 'Alien Invasion' message. Slapping a mosquito, Shifty lumped a mattress into the basement, littered with sports equipment and generally just random stuff. In one corner there appeared to be the Leaning Tower Of Pizza Boxes, in another, The Great Wall Of CDS. Just when Shifty had finally managed to reach the bottom of the steps without a scratch, Lifty the tumbled down the stairs carrying two duvets. The pieces of warm fabric floated on top of the body of Lifty, muffling his swearing slightly.

"Ah fuck, cut my arm." Lifty lifted his green arm to the slight, showing a bad cut scorched right into the elbow.

"Ah it'll be fine. Hell, it'll be healed by tomorrow like always. Hey Caramel, hurry up already!"A pillow monster waddled down the steps, with two big purple ears poking out.

"Well excuse me, but you're not the one carrying eight zillion pillows, are you?" The pillow monster named Caramel reached the floor, dropped all the pillows on the ground and straightened her now crooked flower.

"Can't we sleep upstairs? I like sleeping on wooden floors, not concrete." Shifty sighed at her.

"I saw on this Earthquake documentary that sleeping in basements is the safest thing you can do, so we're staying down here. Lifty yawned and stretched.

"Whatever, man. Hey Caramel, your friend got any soda down here?" Caramel stared at Lifty, her face blanker than an artist with art block. Lifty pinched his nose in frustration.

"I mean fizzy pop." Caramel smacked her head.

"Oh yeah, right! Hey, don't look at me like that, the British soul runs through my veins!"

"Then chow down on a jumbo cheeseburger and get more American."  
"Ew, no way! Fast food burgers suck!"

"You guys are such morons!" Shifty yelled out of the blue.

"We're being attacked by alien, robot... Elephant things, and you're complaining about SODA? For God's sake, pull yourselves together!" The elder twin breathed heavily. Lifty locked his eyes with Shiftys' in a hateful glare off. Caramel fidgeted.

"... You know what, if you two need me, I'll just be hiding under the pizza boxes, ciao!" The girl dived into the safety of the greasy cardboard, leaving the brothers to their stare off.

"... You done yet?" Lifty asked after about a minute.

"Ha ha, very funny." Shifty muttered.

"Like you'd know what funny is! Me and Caramel both know what the hell is going on, we're just not acting like an emo prick about it!

"Hey, I aint emo!"

"What, you aint gonna punish yourself from side tracking away from the worlds' doom?"

"... Just get the beds set up." Shifty shoved is hat over his eyes and walked towards the many mattresses and pillows, snatching his own share and causing a pillow avalanche and skulking off toward a corner. He could feel Liftys' eyes burning into the back of his skull. What did that moron know, anyway? He always had to joke around, always had to pretend nothing was wrong. Sure that would usually make great distractions for stealing things, but that wouldn't help them in an apocalypse.

He glanced over his shoulder. Caramel was balancing on the pillows and mattresses, a pizza box on her head, quoting scenes from the Hangover, while Lifty attempted to knock her down with a CD Frisbee. Shifty groaned, a little too loudly, as Caramel noticed.

"Uh Lifty, I think I'll hit the hay... Well in this case, concrete floor and mattress." Lifty quickly nabbed the biggest pillow.

"Whatever, but be careful where you sleep, the almighty Shifty might see it as a threat if you don't lie down in a 180* angle!" Caramel took no notice and plopped herself in what looked like a rather uncomfortable position in a corner, peeling off her hoodie and burying herself under her duvet mountain. Lifty shot Shifty one last look, before ripping off is denim jacket, rolling himself in the duvet like a burrito and closing his eyes. Shifty lay with his eyes stretched open for what seemed like hours (really ten minutes) before daring to take off his own leather jacket, slipping the gun under his pillow, and staring at the ceiling. They'd quite stupidly left the lights on, but somehow Caramel and Lifty had managed to doze off. Caramel was mumbling something random in her sleep, and Lifty was snoring the house down. He just couldn't understand it, how could they be so calm? Well, sure Caramel was screaming her head off earlier, but that really only lasted for five minutes, and Lifty just wanted some answers, before returning to his usual jokey mood. So many thoughts were in Shiftys' head, buzzing like a swarm of angry bees, not resting until he knew everything was safe...

Why? He knew if he died he'd come back to life the next day anyway, why was he so concerned for their well being? Sure, dying wasn't exactly _comfortable,_ but he knew nothing would happen, right?

Something just didn't feel right. He just felt something was wrong, and it WASN'T the fact that they'd been attacked by robots from the ground, driving with a screaming preteen for four hours, or finding out that his brother had a peanut butter allergy in one day. Something just didn't feel normal, and he knew he wouldn't rest till that feeling went away, he just wouldn't, he couldn't, he... can't...

"Shifty, Shifty wake up!" Flinching as something jabbed him in the ribs and a male voice spoke urgently into his ear. He swatted this annoyance away, only to get an avalanche of greesy pizza boxes dumped on him.

"Gwah! Lifty, what the eff?" Shifty stumbled off the floor, back aching, cursing at himself for falling asleep and nose full of the unpleasant aroma of old processed cheese. Lifty was probably chewing back a laugh, but the dark hid that.

"Shifty, look outside, something's moving!" Lifty steered his half asleep older brother to the glass trapdoor that showed them the outside world, and pointed to something in the distance. Rubbing the last of his sleep out of his eyes and squinted. It was a flickering light, very far away, and looked eerie yellow. Shifty shuffled away.

"Calm down, dude. Probably just someone trying to find some shelter, go back to sleep. By the way, how come you woke up anyway?"

"That's kinda why I woke YOU up. There was this scraping sound, too heavy to be an animal, and it was still going when I looked outside, but all I saw was that light. I've been up for like, thirty minutes watching it, and it hasn't moved." Shifty did blink, but shrugged it off.

"Just your nerves. Look, make like Caramel and sleep!" Shifty waved his arm in the direction of Caramel, who was twisted up like a pretzel in the duvet, with a pillow on her face.

"... Okay, not _exactly_ like that. Look, just sleep alrea-" A roaring, screeching noise filled the air, followed by the screams from Lifty. Shifty was too busy clutching his pointy ears to make a sound. The pile of purple raccoon and duvets sprang to life, and let off a hifg pitch scream. Somehow, Shifty managed to stumble towads the window, saw nothing but flying debris for a few seconds, before being blinded by the brightest light he'd ever seen. He let go of his ears to rub his aching eyes, before returning them back to his ears for protection. Spots were everywhere in his eye balls, making it impossible to see clearly. He could make out a green blob and a purple blob pressed together, which he gathered were Caramel and Lifty hugging eachother. Letting go of his ears, he gave the two a push and motioned them to follow him. The house started to shake and wobble the second they got up. Half running and half stumbling, Shifty pushed them both through a door, containing the boiler, before diving in himself and slamming the door shut. The ruffled rumbles of falling debris and breaking glass haunted them for half an hour.

"Did we just die?" Caramel whispered.


	5. Truth revealed

**Me: *Hiding behind sofa* Uh, h-hello folks. Long time, no see!**

***Has shoe thrown at her***

**Me: ... Yeah, I had that coming, didn't I?**

How he had managed to sleep was a mystery. I mean, he was stuck in a stuffy closet with his younger brother who had his foot jammed into his ear and his friend who appeared to be using Lifty's tail as a cuddle blanket. And to top it all off, a pipe had been dripped foul smelling liquid onto his head all night. ... He really didn't want to think about it.

Shifty opened the door a crack, and saw more or less what he expected.

Mess.

"Clear up on aisle everywhere." He muttered. Aside a calm breeze that pushed things here and there, the place was silent. The door pushed open, and Shifty stepped out. And landed flat o n his face.

"Alas, my dear brother, Shifty, has been cursed with Dead Legs!" Lifty's goofy voice was on top of him, his laugh hitting his Back like tiny arrows. It was true they had the same laugh, but if it was only one using the laugh, it always seemed to be much more annoying.

"Very funny. Help me up, could ya?"

"Yes Shifty, I COULD help you up."

"... WOULD you help me up?"  
"Yes Shifty, I WOULD help you up."

"... Well?"  
"You didn't say when!"

"Dude, we may or may not have just survived a major apocalypse. Now help me up before I break your fucking legs!

"Oooh, language!" Came Caramel's English voice. Her fur was all over the place, sticking up in odd tufts. She reminded Shifty one of the very few things he'd remembered in school. Albert Einstein.

"Oh screw you guys. And screw you too, gravity, I'm getting up." He would've concentrated on his jelly legs more if he wasn't looking around. He could see the sky. The usual happy blue. He wouldn't have been so freaked out if they hadn't been in the basement.

"Hey look, a plane!"

"Good to know, Caramel. Lucky bastards trying 'ta escape, I'm guessing'."  
"If they were trying to escape, they didn't do a very good job." Caramel said with an odd amount of bubbilyness in her voice. "Look, the plane's about six feet to your left." Shifty turned slowly, and stared at his face reflected in the nose of a plane. Shifty felt slightly giddy, Lifty was throwing stones at it, making an annoying _clang_, and Caramel was running up the remains of the stairs.

"Hey Caramel, get back down here!" Shifty yelled at the girl.

"Sure thing, _mum_." Caramel jaunted.

"Mum? Don't you mean mom?" Asked Lifty.

"Nope! I'ma letting my British blood bleach your American world. ALL HAIL TEA AND CRUMPETS!" And with that, she reached the surface and ran towards the plane. Shifty guessed it was originally the usual pink, yellow and blue, but was coated in so much ash and debris it was hard to tell.

"... Shifty, what's a crumpet?"

"Search me dude, I have no clue." Truth is he did, but couldn't be bothered to talk about it. He attempted to run up the stairs, but they crumbled like wet chalk under his feet. He swore that girl was a freaking ninja sometimes. After using Lifty as a trampoline, he managed to get out of the basement, which now would be better described as a hole. He saw Caramel's purple ears poking out of the plane. The thing was missing its roof, but a lot of the chairs were still in place. She was using the chairs to climb up the side, and appeared to be trying to reach a yellow fox, wearing a black hat that said USA. He was trying to reach the stairs while clinging onto a rather bashed up blue cooler. He didn't pay much thought to Caramel, but when he saw Shifty, he called out to him.

"Hey buddy? Lend a man a hand? This thing's heavy!" Shifty just walked over to the opening and waited for the HTF to arrive. He half fell through the doorway, and the cooler smashed into his back. Shifty just stood and watched. If the guy asked for help, he'd just say he'd been kept up all night. Which was partly true, because that leaky pipe combined with Lifty's rancid foot oder made that night very comparable to hell.

"Ratchet? Babe, I got the cooler!" As if from nowhere, a blue cat with long, blond hair bobbed up from a pile of rubble. She did a quick sprint towards them, and embraced the fox in a kiss.

"About time, faggot." Her voice wasn't menacing, but Shifty could obviously tell this was the kinda girl you were careful around.

"Well open it up already! And if there's a flask of coffee in there, it's a free for all man. And by free for all, I mean your head will become very similar to that plane if I don't get it." By this time, Caramel had reached the ground again, and Lifty was next to his brother mumbling annoyed words. The cooler had packet sandwiches and lots of water. It also had a packet of crisps, but Shifty wasn't overly keen on Cheese and Onion and Smashed Into A Fine Powder flavour. The cat grabbed a water and sandwich, stood up, then winced in pain.

" Damn my spine to hell! Hi, my name's Ratchet, that's Ricky. Were you in that plane crash?"

"Actually, we were about two metres away from it. I'm Shifty, that's Lifty and the living jackhammer is Caramel."

"Hey, I've heard of you guys!" Piped up Ricky. "I swear the news once said that two green raccoons stole the Mona Lisa. And you, the purple girl, didn't you enter that icecream eating contest against Nutty that one time at the mall?"

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that. Man, good times, gooooood tiiiimes!"

"Okay, the introductions are done, let's beat it Ricky. I wanna get outta here before those tripod things show up again. And with my back being the bitch it is, we're gonna need a car or something."

"I could hotwire one for ya!" Everyone turned to Lifty, who was grinning like an idiot.

"Of course, it would have to cost ya..."

"Two bottles of water and a cheese sandwich sound fair to you?"

"No way girly!"

"Two cheese sandwiches?"

"Nope."

"How about- Ew! Ricky, I don't like the turkey sandwiches, gimmi the jam one!"

"Let me have any sandwich with meat, and I'll hotwire anything for ya!"

"Deal." The cat hook the raccoons' paw.

"Oh, you got any sushi in that cooler?" Asked Caramel.

"Uhhh, no. Sorry kid." Ricky said. Ratchet waved and signalled them over to a rather chewed looking car. Lifty cracked hit knuckles, and dove underneath it.

"Sandwich?" Ratchet offered. Shifty unwrapped the cling film and bit into it. Egg and water cress. Not the tastiest thing in the world.

"So, any clue on what's going on?" Shifty asked through a mouth full of sandwich.

"Not sure completely, but we know something." Ratchet said.

"What?"

"You wouldn't get it."

"I don't care, I'm a nosy basterd. Now what is it?"

Ratchet sighed.

"I was saving this for the media, but I guess the media aint exactly gonna help us now." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a camera. She flipped on the screen and it flickered to life. Shifty stopped chewing.

"Wait, I though all electric items weren't working.

"I know, but this is solar powered and seems to still work. I think natural energy is still working. Okay, see here? I shot this from the plane we were on." A shaky video of tripods walking around by the dozens appeared, all firing lasers from identical cannons, puffs of white ashes exploding everywhere.

"I shot this from a small town, so I'm dreading what the big cities look like. Anyway, check this out." She clicked onto another video of a lighting storm, identical to the one Shifty was in.

"Hey, I was in a storm just like that!"

"Did you see the lightning?"

"Yeah, how could I not?"

"No, I mean up close."

"No, I quite like not dying."

"Well, check this out." She put the video into slow motion, and showed the lightning. Shifty didn't blink.

"The lightning, it's-"

"All firing into the same spot, I know. I can't zoom on this thing, but if you look really, really close, you can see that the lightning is broken up into millions of tiny dots, but clumped together so it's hard to see. That wasn't lightning, it something alien. I think the tripods were buried under ground this whole time, and the lightning sent whatever's piloting them through the Earths' crust and into them. And somehow, I don't think they came round for lunch."

"I fixed it!" Lifty crawled out from under the car, covered in black oil.

"The engine might give out now and them, but it's got a good two or three hundred mile left in it."

"Perfect, here's your reward." Ratchet tossed him the sandwich and water and climbed i n the car with the fox. Right before she closed the door, she called out.

"Hey, any of you got a disability or something?"

"My brother's the biggest idiot on Earth. Other than that, no."

"Well in that case, Hasta La Vista, bitches." With that, the car sped off, leaving the three raccoons standing.

"Hey, she gave me the wrong sandwich! THIS IS CHEESE AND LETTUECE YOU BITCH!"


End file.
